HOW TO WIN FRIENDS AND INFLUENCE PEOPLE Part1Principle3 – Dale Carnegie
Part 1 – Fundamental Techniques in Handling People
Principle 3; Arouse in the other person and eager want
In reality, you are eternally interested in what you want and so is every other person. Your interest always is in what you want. And the way to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it. As discussed in principle 2, everything we do is what we want the most per time. Not really what the other wants or need. You might do things to make your spouse or children happy but it’s still all down to your want, you WANT them to be happy, hence the reason you do the things. You might be wondering that how about the selfless aid or contribution you gave to charity last month or the trip to that war torn country to go help the hungry children, it’s still all down to your wants. If you wanted something else more than the reason you gave that contribution, your money would have gone there otherwise. Likewise, if you wanted something else more than getting food to the hungry children or you deriving satisfaction from helping out or any reason you did it at all, you would have done otherwise. Even if it’s the advise you gave to your friend on a subject, you might ask ‘’how is that my want? I don’t need the advise, it’s for his own good’’. But it’s still about your want, it’s either you want better for the person regarding the topic or want the person to reason your way, exercising power over the person or whatever reason you are giving the advice for. It’s because you want to.
The next time you really want to get someone to do something, pause and ask, “How can I make this person want to do it?”
Henry Ford said, “If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person’s point of view and see things from that person’s angle as well as from your own.”
Looking at things from another person’s point of view and arousing in them an eager want for something is a key to influencing people and because you will be satisfying principle 1; do not criticize, condemn or complain; and giving to them their wants while achieving your wants, you will win friends.
Professor Overstreet’s wise advice: First, arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.
If you want your kids to do something you want, appease to their want on the thing. Simple!!! Maybe not so simple, but it works almost all the time.
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